I love this video, I really do. In case you missed it on the news, it is a video of a highway in Turkey with a pretty amazing crash and escape all rolled into one!

At first glance, you obviously notice that truck seems to have its dumper raised up at almost 90 degrees – an unusual position for something hurtling down the highway. Then you notice the inevitable crash into the bridge, the absolute decimation it causes and so on.

But look more closely and you’ll see that there was a man on that bridge, who for whatever reason did not decide to run like hell the minute he saw the truck coming. No, this man decided to stand his ground as if he was some kind of titanium-bodied Terminator and let the truck decimate the bridge around him. Amazing thing? That guy survived with minor injuries.

Now, imagine yourself in his position. Need a fresh pair of trousers?

The end of the year is approaching, and we all know what that means. Eating all the chocolates out of the advent calendars before December 1st is even out of the way. Oh, and elaborate New Year’s shows featuring fireworks, performers and… bike stunts?!

Well, yes. This video is from New Year’s Eve 2008 in Paris, where a biker by the name of Robbie Maddison managed to jump his bike onto the top of the Arc de Triomphe, where he pootled around for a bit (showing off, naturally) before then coming down the other side to rejoin everyone at ground level. Pretty impressive stunt, all things considered.

In the UK, using a mobile phone while driving has been illegal for a few years now. Mostly to do with all those idiots driving along with the thing glued to their ears with one hand on the wheel, while they swerve from lane to lane on the motorway like a slalom skier. Since then, we’ve had hands-free kits of every description come out and be forced upon people who may well need to use their phone whilst moving.

But what do you do if someone sends you a text and you need to read it? Putting the phone in your lap to try and read it will probably be a bit more dangerous and you don’t want this happening:

Well, now some bloke in the USA has come up with a piece of software for smartphones which automatically reads out text messages and e-mails you receive. Called DriveSafely, it will probably distract you just as much (come on, those robotic voices are creepy). Either way, you wont be arrested and you will find out that your girlfriend desperately needs a bar of chocolate and that you definitely should get it for her, even when you’re going 70mph down the motorway.

So, get your Free Text software and you too can listen to pointless messages while you’re busy. Ah, modern life, isn’t it brilliant?

A 76 year-old man in Bristol, the place in Britain where we send those people who we like to call ’slow’, had a bit of a surprise as he sat in his garden enjoying a balmy English summer day.

You see, he lives under the flight path of a major international airport, Bristol International Airport to be precise. His pleasant surprise? To get a lump of ice the size of a grapefruit land on his thigh after a plane flew over his house. Don’t worry, he’s all right – just a wee bit of bruising. Although if it had conked him on the head he wouldn’t be here to complain about it. Still, he’s all right.

This is the funny bit though… Bristol Airport are refusing to admit that it could have been one of their planes which did it. They say they will help with the investigation, but in the same breath claim that due to all sorts of circumstances (air currents, temperature, badger mating season) the ice could indeed have come from anywhere, especially flights bound to or from London’s Heathrow Airport (those bastards, making more money than a bunch of farmers with an air strip).

So next time your kid kicks a football through a neighbour’s window, cite atmospheric conditions and blame it on the French.

If you’re a fan of the Jiménez brothers then don’t read on. If you haven’t a clue who they are, continue. They are were midget wrestlers from Mexico, and by the looks of it they were of the ‘lucha libre’ variety (think of Jack Black in Nacho Libre, but much smaller).

So, how do you expect that two midget wrestlers from Mexico might die? Well, the two who go by the stage names of ‘La Parkita’ and ‘Espectrito Jr’ had decided to spend some of their hard-earned cash on a pair of low-class prostitutes and take them back to the hotel. Bad move, boys.

After the hookers left alone later on, nothing happened until a cleaner went in to clean the room, whereupon the two little guys were found in their beds stone cold dead. Their belongings were missing and they reckon the two died due to eye drops mixed with alcohol – a common tactic of ne’er-do-well prostitutes wanting to kill their punters and run off their gear.

So next time you’re in Mexico, watch out. There could be a couple of evil minded bitches about who will stop at nothing to kill you with eye drops.

Racial epithets are rarely good business. This is the new business strategy of the Russians at Gazprom with their new 2.5 billion dollar joint venture in Nigeria – Nigaz.

The Nigerians don’t care. The fact that the word ‘Nigaz’ is a portmanteau of the words ‘Nigeria’ and ‘Gazprom’ and is pronounced as ‘nye-gaz’ is enough for them, seemingly. They don’t feel the need to read into it, get all offended and pipe up online that the world is a place populated by idiots.

Which kind of sums up this post. Those of you who feel the need to complain about any mortal thing which may or may not offend someone, somewhere: go away. Lock yourselve in your mother’s basement and never emerge, because the rest of the world doesn’t need you. Look at the Jonathon Ross/Russel Brand debacle – on the day the ‘offensive’ recording was aired, a handful of people complained. By the end of the week, tens of thousands were complaining – most of whom hadn’t ever listened to either of the radio presenters’ shows, never mind on the day in question.

Again, this is what is happening. Despite the fact that the announcement of this scheme was over a week ago by this point, those minions of Twitter are still running around complaining, whining and generally making a nuisance of themselves over a matter which even the Nigerians don’t give a toss about.

So, morally outraged people: sod off.

They do. Seriously. Like, vomit everywhere. Don’t believe me? Well see this actual library documentary footage of a women being so disgusted by the new Internet Explorer 8 browser that she physically throws up all over her pristine, laminate floored house and her pristine, middle class white America husband (who totally isn’t banging the secretary during the week).

Yes, that is Dean Cain giving the lecture. Yes, he used to be Superman. Get over it. Instead, wonder what the fuck the Microsoft marketing team were smoking when they came up with the idea of using puke as an advertisement message to get across to their customers. Especially after all these years of hard work – first they tried to not look like a big, evil, corporate machine, then they tried to not look like a big, evil, sterile and nerdy producer of boredom and then tried to claim that Vista wasn’t a worthless upgrade for 90% of the PC using world.

Seriously, what the hell were they thinking. Needless to say this ad got pulled after several people physically burned their eyes from their sockets to shield themselves from the horror.

Lego. There really is nothing you can’t do with the stuff. I’d wager it is entirely possible to create some kind of mecha-transformer-tank-killatron which could crush France with one foot whilst nuking China, taking a dump on Switzerland at the same time. Don’t believe me? PAH!

Anyway, returning to reality, this video is awesome. All your arcade classics from Pac-Man to Asteroids are represented in colourful plastic block form, and pretty well done too. Makes me want to play some of these again. Well, until I realise how extremely dated they are these days.

This gives me an idea for more Lego video games. We already have the official licensed Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones games, and Lego Harry Potter is on its way. Apparently they’re also making a Lego version of the music game Rock Band, and I have literally no idea how they conjoined those two ideas and though it would have anything but a disastrous outcome, but meh. Their problem.

No, my ideas are much better. How about Lego War on Terror? I, for one, would love to see Osama bin Laden Lego-ised, or a version of Operation Shock and Awe where the most dangerous thing likely to happen would be to tread on a plastic block in bare feet in the dark. Maybe that’s just me though…

How would you feel if you lost $1 million by throwing it away into a landfill. Now make it an accident, beyond your control. Feeling bad? Pissed off? Annoyed? Distraught? Well, now add to the mix that it wasn’t you who lost your million dollars… it was your daughter. I think by now you would happily be contemplating murder, yes?

Well, exactly this has happened in Israel after a woman decided to ’surprise’ her mother with a new mattress for her bed while she was out one day. Having happily thrown the old mattress out, having had it taken away to the dump, she thought her mother would be completely won over with the new present and love her for ever and ever. Well, no.

What did happen is when her mother arrived home, she fainted on the spot. When roused, she let slip that the old mattress contained her life savings to the tune of $1 million. Upon this, her daughter left (rather hurriedly) for the local dump where the mattress should have been taken. But of course things never go smoothly, as it had already been taken away to a landfill site.

This is where the woman is now situated, searching night and day for the literal bag of money she threw away. Quite possibly the most expensive gift she will ever have given…

This is something you don’t see every day. There have been a fair number of beatboxers over the years, not all of them good. Well, here is one act which laughs at their inadequacies whilst holding a flute and knocking out some phat beatz…

OK, so he isn’t like the second coming of Jesus or anything, but he is pretty good. Makes you wonder how you learn this kind of thing. Was he sat there playing his flute one day (hur hur) when he had a sudden urge to burp or something, then realised he could mix it up a little with some beatboxing. Who knows – either way, he’s pretty good.