Some guy in America has actually earned the nickname ‘The Butt Bandit’ after his campaign of arsery (quite literally) around the US town of Valentine in Nebraska (that place where nothing ever happens). He has been running around at night, greasing up his cheeks and leaving his ‘mark’ on the windows of anywhere he can find.

He first struck last year in 2007 on a church, and since then numerous businesses, churches and schools have ended up being given his special seal of approval. He even managed to carry on hitting the same church again and again, even with the truly diligent police forces of Valentine “staking” it out – or should that be “an outing for steak” – if you can’t see a man running around with his butt cheeks smeared with vaseline pressing them up against windows when you’re on a stake-out, then you SUCK.

Still, they seem to be just as amazed that whoever is doing this stopped for the winter, just to start up again this summer. Hardly surprising, I would imagine that the last thing you want to be doing in the winter is running around with a frozen backside.

Either way, some of the residents find it all very funny, hence his affectionate nickname, but still end up being grossed out a bit when they found they’ve been hit by the hidden lurker. It will be quite funny should they catch him – what charge will they arrest him under? “Willful pressing of arsecheeks up against a window?” perhaps, but you can rest assured he could well be the first man in human history to be caught on the strength of an ass-print.

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