One celebrity who has had some positive photos taken of her recently is Denise Van Outen, the new mum looks fantastic in a bikini, holding her 5 month old daughter. The chances are the pictures were staged, but even so, she really is a model mum.

Denise is obviously obsessed with the way she looks and uses this to further her career. She underwent laser eye surgery in 2008 in an attempt to get rid of the contact lens’ she has used since she was a teenager. The decision to undergo the surgery partly came about because Gary Barlow, from Take That, had asked her to travel with him on a fund raising trip to Kilimanjaro and partly because her eyesight had deteriorated markedly over years of working under studio lights and reading an autocue.

Denise underwent Wavefront Lasik that gently reshapes the cornea and doesn’t involve the use of any surgical blades. A laser is used to create a flap in the cornea and the inner cornea is reshaped.

With her new baby keeping her busy and her career still on track, getting rid of her contacts has given Denise a new lease of life.

So what’s so great about this theme park then? Well, it has a chocolate car. Not impressed? Well, how about a chocolate terracotta army? Not sure how it can be both terracotta AND chocolate at the same time, but that isn’t the point, is it?

Still not convinced? Well, the Chinese knew you wouldn’t, you cheeky capitalist Westerner you! That’s why they came up with the idea of a chocolate Great Wall of China. Yes, the longest wall on the planet right now has been miniaturised and moulded entirely from choccy.

If only Cadburys had made siege defences from chocolate. Maybe then they wouldn’t have been taken over by a company who think that cheese and polyfiller are the same thing, except for the label…

You see, there is a farmer in the easternmost region of Russia called Primorye, between Japan and China. This farmer had a problem with thieves taking his hard-grown potatoes. So what would you do? Put up barbed wire fences? Security lights, guard dogs, shotgun blast warning shots? Well, none of those were extreme enough for this guy. He is like the Darth Vader of the cultivation world: only total destruction will suffice.

No, this guy made his own landmines instead. Yes, landmines. The things banned under some treaty or other. Princess Diana would have had a fit. Anyway, he planted the things in his fields (short cut to mashed potatoes I guess) and waited to see if anyone would try it. They did.

In the end the person who tried to rob some root veggies ended up suffering some non-specific injuries and the farmer got done by the law for his actions. Thing is, this guy is 73 years old and ended up getting a 2.5 year suspended sentence. So not even jail time – maybe they thought he would be a danger in a prison or something!

Anyway, next time you’re in the far east of Russia and feel like a cheeky spud, leave it…

Well, yes. This video is from New Year’s Eve 2008 in Paris, where a biker by the name of Robbie Maddison managed to jump his bike onto the top of the Arc de Triomphe, where he pootled around for a bit (showing off, naturally) before then coming down the other side to rejoin everyone at ground level. Pretty impressive stunt, all things considered.

Lego. There really is nothing you can’t do with the stuff. I’d wager it is entirely possible to create some kind of mecha-transformer-tank-killatron which could crush France with one foot whilst nuking China, taking a dump on Switzerland at the same time. Don’t believe me? PAH!

Anyway, returning to reality, this video is awesome. All your arcade classics from Pac-Man to Asteroids are represented in colourful plastic block form, and pretty well done too. Makes me want to play some of these again. Well, until I realise how extremely dated they are these days.

This gives me an idea for more Lego video games. We already have the official licensed Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones games, and Lego Harry Potter is on its way. Apparently they’re also making a Lego version of the music game Rock Band, and I have literally no idea how they conjoined those two ideas and though it would have anything but a disastrous outcome, but meh. Their problem.

No, my ideas are much better. How about Lego War on Terror? I, for one, would love to see Osama bin Laden Lego-ised, or a version of Operation Shock and Awe where the most dangerous thing likely to happen would be to tread on a plastic block in bare feet in the dark. Maybe that’s just me though…