Yes, this guy is clearly insane. But not as insane as his wife, who planned the whole thing. According to them, the gig will be mostly inaudible if you’re a human (which raises the question how do they know it is actually any good). The gig will take place outside the iconic Sydney Opera House in Australia and will last 20 minutes.

Regardless, they know it will succeed because they have a dog and it seems to like the music they’ve made. Allow me to keep my skepticism on this one.

See, the man bought a boat and on the very same day decided he wanted to visit his friend in Southampton. He lives in Gillingham, so its a fairly hefty journey to attempt without anything but a road map and some fuel. Nevertheless, onward he sailed!

His genious plan was to keep the coast to his right hand side, logic dictating that eventually he would reach Southampton for a beer with his buddy. His sure-fire navigational trick backfired when he ran aground on Elmley Marshes. When he was rescued, the coast guard informed him that he had just been sailing round and round the Isle of Sheppey, an island just off the Kent coastline and only a few miles from his original starting point – nowhere near Southampton.

Apparently he was also surprised when the boat munched its way through all the fuel he had thought to take with him – apparently his car could do it in one tank of fuel, so a boat MUST be able to. In the end he was advised to just take the train like anyone else would.

I’ve often thought that my cat was trying to tell me something. Usually something along the lines of “feed me now”, but that’s beside the point. Watch the video and be educated.

No, this little educational program continued for 2 hours, over 2 kids entertainment channels. OK, so the video was only covering part of the screen, and it was naked women discussing sex and various acts which would make Ron Jeremy blush, but I’m damn sure that approximately 18.2 billion children have been irreparably harmed by this little escapade and Time Warner’s lawyers will be receiving a lot of lawsuits over it.

On a final note, why is porn in the news so much recently?! Next we’ll have Jenna Jameson presenting the News at Ten!

You see, there is a farmer in the easternmost region of Russia called Primorye, between Japan and China. This farmer had a problem with thieves taking his hard-grown potatoes. So what would you do? Put up barbed wire fences? Security lights, guard dogs, shotgun blast warning shots? Well, none of those were extreme enough for this guy. He is like the Darth Vader of the cultivation world: only total destruction will suffice.

No, this guy made his own landmines instead. Yes, landmines. The things banned under some treaty or other. Princess Diana would have had a fit. Anyway, he planted the things in his fields (short cut to mashed potatoes I guess) and waited to see if anyone would try it. They did.

In the end the person who tried to rob some root veggies ended up suffering some non-specific injuries and the farmer got done by the law for his actions. Thing is, this guy is 73 years old and ended up getting a 2.5 year suspended sentence. So not even jail time – maybe they thought he would be a danger in a prison or something!

Anyway, next time you’re in the far east of Russia and feel like a cheeky spud, leave it…