1. Get rid of your car
   That car you own could be turned into readies so very easily, also saving you money on expenses like fuel. Did you know it costs a fraction of the money to run a horse as it does to run a car, and they were good enough for your ancestors weren’t they!
   Don’t have a stable? Well, you now have an empty garage, and the kids can be put to good use to muck our your impromptu stable each day.
2. Get rid of your PC and other entertainment gear
   It is well known that cars depreciate in value rather quickly, so while you’re in the process of turning expensive goods into pennies, why not get rid of that expensive laptop and widescreen TV you bought on store credit last year. You’ll still be paying it off at an extortionate rate of interest for the next 10 years, sure, but who cares? That laptop could fetch up to a whole quarter of its original value a year ago… Think about it!
3. Sell your children
   They are an expensive commodity these days and cause no end of hassle. Better off to just sell them.
4. Sell your house
   There are any number of alternatives to living in a house. On a recent holiday, during a boat ride we went along a coastline with a series of cliffs with caves in them – apparently people still live in them to this day. Hippies, apparently. Be a trend-setting and bring back cave living from obscurity – soon all your friends will be envious of your free air conditioning and awesome view.
5. Grow your own food
   It can’t be that hard to grow a pizza, right? If a farmer from Suffolk can do it then there’s hope for us all.
6. Diversify
   Start your own debt collection agency, there has never been a better time!

• Pirates
• Robots
• Ninjas

They all have their pros and cons, and there is nothing that stands out about one that the others can’t counter in other ways. So I have decided to create a list of the best features of each one and then decide.

Pirates

• Speech patterns
• Swords
• Eye patches
• Parrots
• Pieces of Eight

Robots

• Could turn on humans at any minute
• Don’t need to breathe
• Don’t need to drink or eat
• Very strong
• Hard to injure

Ninjas

• Stealthy
• Hundreds of ways of killing you
• Wear all black
• Could steal a cake without you knowing

It is still very hard to choose – they all have good and bad points, so I think I am going to remain undecided about which is coolest for now.