FaceTime sounded great at first. Finally proper video calling on the iPhone, right? Except even the official demonstration failed miserably, with Mr Jobs placing the blame on the conference’s WiFi connection (yet all the live bloggers were using it fine). And the brings forward the next point – it requires WiFi. Doesn’t that make it a webcam?

Anyway, my point is, despite this and that notorious iPhone 4 signal issue, people still bought the device in their droves. iNuts, the lot of ‘em.

As one iNut close to me while writing this says: “I’m happy to pay more for any product that has the Apple logo on it.”

The Prince of Darkness himself has now been given even more credit for abusing our eyes and ears with his talentless wannabes by BAFTA who plan to give him an award for… well, being him.

They seem to wish to reward him for his contributions to the arts, which is pretty interesting since there are none. About the only thing he can claim to have actually had a positive impact on is the ratings of other TV channels with real content.

It just means the BAFTA has lost even more credibility.

Unless you’ve been doing better things over the last month or so, you might know there was an election in the UK recently. The outcome of said election was far from clear and we’re still going through the arduous process of listening to politicians talk about coalitions and majorities and “mandates from the people” – all very enthralling stuff if you’re a rock.

Anyway, I digress. The point of my rant is that a hung parliament sounded cool. A call back to the times of the Tudors and Stewarts, dragging traitors through the streets by their figgin before hauling their now-detached heads on top of a shiny spike on the King’s house. But no – it just means that politicians get to have EVEN MORE dull, meaningless and utterly confusing discussions about sweet F.A. while the rest of us expire of boredom.

All I wanted was an MP or two hanging from Nelson’s Column. Was it really that much to ask!?

So when the BBC decide that they’re down with the kids and begin to cover such tripe as internet memes in the name of journalism, it just makes me cringe horribly. Take this article for instance.

I don’t know who is in charge of editorial content for the BBC site, or what it is they’re smoking, but covering a meme which is so old it is practically dead already? Seriously? How is that in any way ‘news’? If they had covered it in 2008 then maybe, but no, this is a new decade and most of the videos they discuss have been around for absolutely ages. Even worse is the prospect that most of them will be gone by tonight due to the purge of all copyrighted material undertaken by the film’s studio.

So, BBC, how about you do what you do best – (semi) unbiased journalism, current news stories and the odd weird story. Leave the chronicling of pop culture to those who actually have a pulse for once.

No, this is not the idea of animals being lawyers, more the idea of animals getting legal representation in matters which might affect them, like cruelty cases. Proponents claimed that it would help in prosecuting cases which would have otherwise never made it to court and gone unpunished. The vote on the issue was this weekend and got turned down, with a 70% majority.

SURPRISE SURPRISE.

Seriously, what would be the point? Something tells me that all this would be is a way for some failed law student to finally make some money back towards his mountainous college fees.