We’ve all seen a dodgy film or two over the years. Crap acting, special effects which look like they came from a BBC Micro and a plot so full of holes you could use it to catch a whale. Sometimes the makers realise that all they have suceeded in producing is a turd and attempt to polish it by including a bit of nudity (preferably female) and/or sex.

Anyway, I digress. Today’s featured Crap Film is a gem, involving skateboarding, a blow up doll, a car chase and some explosions – but all in entirely the wrong way. Marvel at the emotionally-laden scene where the driver gets shot in the heart and shrugs it off (or maybe he spilled some ketchup at lunch), cry at the tragic loss of a sex doll and laugh at how unbelievably crap this film is. Its name is ‘Hard Ticket to Hawaii’, and I present it to you in audiovisual form… BEHOLD.

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