Nicholas Cage. Famous for being in a large number of mediocre action films, having the same haircut for 10 years and having that faintly monotonous tone of voice which could quite easily send you to sleep if he were to read out something like the Bible (hell, I could fall asleep to that even if Chris Crocker read the bloody thing).

Here we see him flaunting his acting talents in the 2006 American remake of The Wicker Man. If you have seen this film, then you will know that it is pretty crap. I haven’t had the privilege of watching the original 1973 British version but from what I understand, the remake does little to improve or expand on it, preferring to stick to the tried and tested Hollywood formula when producing remakes: butcher it.

You want violence? You got violence! Gasp in awe as he pulls a gun on a female cyclist. Gape in fascination as he beats women up left, right and centre in his quest for… something. Listen to the impact of your jaw on the floor as The Cagester lets his entire emotional range rip when faced with death. Wonder why the hell he keeps asking “how’d it get burned?!” when the bloody woman already told him that she didn’t know. Fall about laughing as he is tortured with bees in some kind of a inverted bee keeper’s mask… “NOT THE BEES!!! ARGHHH!!!! MY EYES!!!!!!!!!”. I mean come on, is there any way on Earth he could have hammed that bit up any more?

There is no real stand-out moment of downright awfulness in this film – its more of a constant background effect. What there is though is the sight of Nicholas Cage in a bear costume, the king of disguises. Seriously.

So sit back and enjoy this new comedy version of a supposed thriller/drama film. If this makes you want to watch the full film, or for some deranged reason you already did, then please, inform us of any other golden moments we should whack up here…

Things I like:
Voice Recorder at great prices.
http://www.film.it
Subversion - version control.

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