A 76 year-old man in Bristol, the place in Britain where we send those people who we like to call ’slow’, had a bit of a surprise as he sat in his garden enjoying a balmy English summer day.

You see, he lives under the flight path of a major international airport, Bristol International Airport to be precise. His pleasant surprise? To get a lump of ice the size of a grapefruit land on his thigh after a plane flew over his house. Don’t worry, he’s all right – just a wee bit of bruising. Although if it had conked him on the head he wouldn’t be here to complain about it. Still, he’s all right.

This is the funny bit though… Bristol Airport are refusing to admit that it could have been one of their planes which did it. They say they will help with the investigation, but in the same breath claim that due to all sorts of circumstances (air currents, temperature, badger mating season) the ice could indeed have come from anywhere, especially flights bound to or from London’s Heathrow Airport (those bastards, making more money than a bunch of farmers with an air strip).

So next time your kid kicks a football through a neighbour’s window, cite atmospheric conditions and blame it on the French.

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