Or so the Daily Express would have you believe. They’d probably find a way to blame the European Union for it too.

Anyway, I digress from the story of a circus performer in the Moscow State Circus who has been told he is not allowed to wear jumbo sized footwear because it poses a bit of a safety risk. This is all after he broke a toe while performing in Liverpool (eugh) whilst doing his high-wire act. At the time he was wearing size 18 shoes, thus showing off his clown credentials in real style as he usually plays multiple instruments while on the wire or even gets dressed up there.

He has now been told to do his routine barefoot, to which he claims “I don’t look like a normal clown in a black costume” when he is not wearing the boots. I guess he doesn’t, he just looks like some kind of ruffian who would gut you as soon as look at you, or someone from Liverpool. I don’t know which one is worse…

The general manager of the circus thought he would provide a gem of a pun though (seeing as this guy is a high wire…ist) when he provided this: “I guess we just have to follow through these procedures – it really is a balancing act“. Oh, how he chortled in his office, thinking how amazingly witty he is. Well, I have news for you, Mr Paul Archer – that pun is terrible, and you will have to pay for it in the future.

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