Yes, you read that right. In Manchester a man was found in the chimney of a Tesco supermarket, completely stark naked. No, I cant fathom how this chain of events even came to being. Firstly, what bloody Tesco has a chimney. They’re what you find at your gran’s house, not the money-printing machine that is a supermarket. Next, why was he trying to get in that way, in the middle of the night? The police reckon he was trying to break in, but I think that makes him even more of an idiot. How was he planning on getting out with any loot? Finally, why the hell was he naked?! Again, police reckon it was due to him struggling in the chimney when he got stuck, causing (somehow) his clothes to magically disappear.

All this just defies belief on so many levels…

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