Immigration officers in Newcastle proved their worth to the nation by stopping one particularly determined Brazilian woman from entering the country. The reason? Sexiness. A whole suitcase full of it.

You see, this woman had previously tried to get into the country through Belfast a few months earlier and failed. The reason for that failure? A suitcase full of sex toys, sexy lingerie and lists of excort agencies alerted the eagle-eyed officers, noting the conspicuous absence of any proper clothing. Like, you know, stuff you can wear outside without getting arrested.

You’d think she would learn from this, right? Well obviously not, as when she arrived in Newcastle airport she was again found to have nothing but a couple of t-shirts, a dressing gown and a whole load of lingerie in her case. She had tried to cover her tracks though – she had obtained a new passport which replaced her old one with the refusal of entry stamps from her earlier attempt in Belfast.

The best bit of all this is her excuse when questioned in Newcastle – she kept claiming that she was coming to the country to ’see Newcastle city centre’, which she continued to repeat as her answer for everything. Sorry, but if you’re Brazilian, Newcastle city centre is going to be a letdown. Unless they have something other than easy female students and drunken Newcastle United fans there these days.

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